Sometimes the, like, narrative reality of the scene where Alana breaks down in the car just hits me all over again. Because sometimes I get distracted by the very TV-show aware thought of “UGH Caroline your performance” or even just more practical ‘where do I screencap this?” or “Where does this sequence go in the fan vid?” concerns.
So then there are times where the pure reality of that moment for Alana just hits me like a totally fresh punch in the gut. Just. She’s just heard this horrible thing about this person she loves, and she’s sitting in her car so heavy with the knowledge that nothing is ever going to be the same and that so much is messed up, and she just fucking loses it.
I love that it starts with her just kind of silent and frozen, staring right ahead. I imagine her leaving Jack’s office trying to rationalize and take control, thinking of all the things that need to be done: Will needs psychiatric tests, he’ll need brain scans she needs to get him to a doctor to figure this out, and also she needs to call Animal Services because what about the dogs? But then she gets to the car and just can’t move forward. So she just sits there, trying to process but failing, and all she can do is feel it. So she just screams. That first scream, accompanied by the pounding the steering wheel, just looks so horrible and raw. I’ve said this before, but I love the way that scene is cut, going between the anger and the devastation, screaming and sobbing.
And in that moment, it truly feels like Alana is the one who is breaking. But then at the end…you see the moment her eyes change, and she grabs onto control, forcibly pulls her herself together because Will needs her. She makes herself move forward and do something about it, because as of then, Will can’t.
Just. Will and Alana, am I right?